Rebellious Nature - A Desire?

Many times have we thought of rebelling. May it be against a system, against someone, or against something. It is an inherent nature that makes us want to do something that is out of our league and make a difference out of a given system. But when we delve deeper into that desire, we tend to become rebellious.

This phase in our life is marked by the desire to go against almost everything- our parents, the law, policies, etc. And from what I could gather, this phase is both voluntarily and involuntarily induced, depending on the degree and reason for the act of rebelling. There are times when something within us just don't agree with something and force us to subconsciously rebel against something. There are also times when we want to rebel for the sake of rebelling and that's the time when it becomes dangerous.

Rebelling, is a subconscious desire, a defense mechanism if you ask. So when you judge someone for being rebellious, know that it might not be that voluntary. He or she may just want to make a point to society and encourage us to think and to scrutinize the current standing and procedures within our society. And remember, before we judge others, always think that we, too, at some point of our lives rebelled against something.

Lifting the Haze - A realization

It appears that silence is the bringer of realizations. For as I sat alone in this little corner of mine, the root and the cause of my current torment has been brought to light.

I am a person who takes great pride in appearance and personal performance. But despite of that, I am a seeker of entertainment, of pleasure, of amusement. And regardless of my oath to take care of myself, I find myself getting sucked into this void filled with entertainment. It proved to be my downfall. Right from neglecting my studies, eating less, and now, sleeping less, I have gone against my very principle of self-improvement.

Indeed, I found out that the root and cause of my inability to concentrate and constant treading through a hazy cloud-like vision is due to lack of sleep. Now it might sound obvious to some that sleep is importance, and even I always stressed the importance of early sleep, we tend to be more on our "human nature" and ignore the risks in exchange for self-fulfillment.

That happened to me. And due to the fact that my room at college does not have an internet connection, I decided to stay up all night whenever I'm home. How could I have forgotten this simple fact? Just as the popular adage goes, "Time flies when you're having fun". And that couldn't have been more correct. When I'm on the internet, I tend to lose track of the time. And I ended up going to bed at 10 and above.

Since my usual limit is 8:30 PM to 9, I can deduce that indeed I have been losing sleep and my body is stressed enough to affect my concentration.

This realization is indeed an "eye-opener". For years, I have forgotten the importance of sleep. And as a result, it took away my ability to think straight and clearly. Even my reading ability was affected as well as my writing.

And for that, I will make a second vow never to deprive myself of sleep again. For if I value my development and truly love myself, I ought to at least give myself the rest it deserves.

Hazy Visions

Mankind are creatures of fallible and arbitrary nature. Despite the height of its development and physical evolution, its rational and logical side fail to reach equal maturity as its biological capacities. True enough, it succeeded in uniting itself as a species. But divisions continued to penetrate within its perfect society. Prejudice clouds their vision, allowing self-hate and self-praise distort their goals into self-fulfillment, continuing to appraise and cling on to selfish, narrow-minded ideologies. They let personal judgments bar connection with others which in turn, bar the way toward progress.

Just like the moth who dances around a tantalizing flame, mankind allows itself to dance around a dangerous game. And just as the smoke of intolerance blinds his vision, and the fires of hate distort reality, so shall his future remain ever so bleak, so arbitrary and so malleable. But such is the reality of the natural order of things. For just as fate wove the foreseen path of the future, only man can truly redeem himself and tread across fate's unforgiving hand and create a glorious destiny for himself.

Question of Sanity

We live in a world of uncertainty. But beyond these uncertainties are structured and premeditated purposes that guide our paths- our zigzagged and crisscrossed paths- into a straightforward and linear one. And these structured concepts gave rise to cyclical and monotonic, passionless lives. We seek greatness, we seek glory, we seek success. Yet what is greatness really? What is glory? What is success? Mere concepts that were drilled into us by society are just that- concepts. But beyond these things, we know nothing more for we dare not oppose to structural mandates that society dictated.

We run in circles and live unhappy lives. We hate, we curse we suffer in misery. For what? All for society's whims and rules. Given these, is it not more pleasurable then to seek our own paths and carve our own destiny? Then why are there many people still stuck around the mandates and orders dictated to them just so they could conserve their pride?

But then again, it is not a matter of questions about insanity. But perhaps it has something more to do about the question of willingness to pursue your own goals, dreams and most of all happiness, amidst the prejudice and hate that surrounds you. Are you up to the challenge? Only you can answer that.

Life's Monotony

Life is driven by a monochrome film. It is monotonous. It is cyclical. It is redundant.

What little pleasures we sought are nothing but mere shadows of what reality is. For we do not understand our purpose of existence, we try to turn to the world for answers. But we know that we are only fooling ourselves because the world, too, is in the same situation as we- confused and unsatisfied.

We fill that hollow with pride, break the cycle with daring things and excite the monotony with adventure. But what is life really? Is it nothing but a jaded representation of what ought to be worthy and pride, but now destroyed and nothing but a shell? Is it supposed to be a preparatory stage? Or is it nothing but a passing moment that doesn't really matter in the vastness of our universe?

Questions, questions that need answers continue to plague us. And the monotonous cycle shall always continue. What is life really?